Wednesday, June 15, 2011

What A Party!

Between "Rapture Rick" Perry, "Rapture Rick" Santorum, Mama Grifter, Michele, Newt, and the rest of the circus, we'll certainly be entertained.

The scary thing is that we've gotten stupid enough as a society to elevate people like these to the top of the political pyramid.

I have thoughts on that, of course. At my normal digs.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Follow Me On Twitter

I'll try to post with some frequency, although my regular digs will be my normal venue :)!/jollyrogerpc

Monday, July 24, 2006

Cape Cod Living: Blogging for the middle

Saturday, February 18, 2006

And I really do love her

I often say the wrong things
I often do the wrong things
I step in it, up to my knees at times.

But I'd never trade what I have
Because any trade would leave me with nothing
I could not hope for more than I got

How to tell her?
I wish I was better at it
I guess I have to keep plugging away

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Sometimes it all seems so hard

How do you ever really give yourself completely to another?

Is there ever really anyone who will love you when you're a prince and also when you're a frog? Is there anything besides a dog that will accept who you are unconditionally?

I think I had such a person once, in the form of my father. He had a headstrong, stupid teenager to deal with. He locked me out of the house more than once, promised to ship me off to a military school more than once, pretty much picked apart everything I did. And in return, I often slowed wayyyyyyyy down when doing something for my dad. And as I was something of a smart aleck, I am certain that he probably never appreciated the genuis behind my biting wit.

I could also go to him at any hour and discuss any subject. Which didn't mean he wasn't judgmental-he told me what he thought. Bluntly. Very seldom did I get "I don't know" when I went to Dad to try to work something out. If I was wrong, he didn't hesitste to slice me up. When I was right, nobody was quicker to back me up. He paid my bills when I got sick, took care of my beloved German Shepherd, was there almost all the way through a horrible divorce that I'd have avoided had I actually listened to what he was telling me to begin with.

From the age of 12 on, my dad and I were all we had. My mother remarried and I saw her only sporadically for a couple of years.

My dad passed away the 20th of June in 1996. I do not remember anymore how often I picked up a phone to call my dad and talk to him about something, or just talk to him, and then remember that I couldn't do that anymore. He was the one adult person on Earth I actually trusted, and losing him was beyond devastating-to this very day, there exists a hole that I will simply never be able to fill, because nobody will ever love me that way again.

For all of the bullshit of my teen years, and all of the headaches of a young man who wasn't ever adept at things like relationships or parenting, I want to thank my dad for being the one person I could count on. If there was some way I could talk to my dad right now and tell him how much it means to me that I was allowed to know him for 33 years, I wouldn't waste any time with pleasantries-I'd tell him. I'd pour my heart out to him, though his comfort level would have been seriously breached. I'd tell him that the one thing that blunts my worry about dying goes is the notion I might yet get to talk to him again.

Having grown up vowing never to be like my father, now I only wish I knew how to be. I wish I had the strength to see myself through a Depression, horrible theaters of war, and the ups and downs of domestic life as he was able to do. Had I gotten his backbone as my inheritance, it would have been more than I deserved.

Alas, I did not, and I am doomed to continue to try to feel my way through the dark. My compass is long broken, my light long ago stopped shining.

I really miss you Dad, whereever you may be.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Another year shot to hell

Got cut, spent some time in the Hospital, got threatened with loss of job for being sick.

Yes, it can happen. The job site I was working at was so small FMLA didn't cover it. I got a nice registered letter from the cunt who does HR (at a company headquartered in Houston) warning me that if I so much as went to the Doctor one more time I could be fired.

So I quit my job that day-gave them notice, of course. The very next day, I was invited to interview for a job I had held in the past, with a large corp. I flew through the interview process, got hired, and walked away from my old job-something I should have done years ago. The cunt was displeased, which doesn't surprise me much-she struck me early on as someone who enjoys holding power over people. I do so regret not being able to serve out my notice, especially in light of the human, compassionate way those shitbags treated me. 5 years of pretty good service meant nothing to them. But after being threatened for being sick, I'd have taken any job available-I am so grateful to large corp for liking me enough to let me come back.

Two lessons are in my story. Lesson #1-that bullshit about small firms being better to work for, is bullshit. My life's experiences have always been that I was treated better at larger companies.

Lesson #2 is that sometimes you have to suck it up, make up your mind that you aren't going to be kicked around anymore, and do the necessary thing. I took that job initially because my wife and I were both laid off in the space of 2 weeks, and she was pregnant. I had to do something to keep body and soul together, and that place was the first one to make me an offer. Given that I had to go through 3 afternoon-long interview processes, I should have known that the company was loaded down with dickheads-in fact, I suspected it, but desperation sent me in anyway. I should have walked right back out of the damned place as soon as my little girl was born, and I bitterly regret not doing it-my chickenshit nature means I wasted an additional 4 years at that shithole of a place.

4 years I could have been somewhere that I was regarded as a human being.
4 years I could have gotten up every morning not absolutely hating the day.
4 years I could have spared my loved ones my rants about the shit place I worked and the shit way they treated me.

Trust yourself. There is nearly always an alternative to being treated like trash, if you are ready to go after it. Don't make the mistake I did-for 5 years of service I got threatened, gray-haired, and unpaid for my last 3 weeks of work.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Scott Stapp is back-Fred Durst finally looks good compared to something

Truly a sad day for music.

I thought the greasy mullethead was a poser when he was stealing from Pearl Jam and STP back in his Creed days, and I heard samples of his latest "work," which indicates that he has not forgotten how to steal.

Yes, the Jesusistani hypocrite is a Trailer Park favorite, but I cannot stand him-he's worse than nails on chalkboard. What makes him even harder to take, of course, is that he, himself, believes he's just the greatest thing ever.

Well, if all we had to compare him to was alley cats fighting, perhaps he'd be...... nah, he'd still suck even if that was our only alternative. I have to believe that the resurrection of Scott Stapp truly does mean that rock is dead.